Desired

“How do you feel?”
“The ambiguity of my current state affects my well-being, but I just returned from my summer holiday, and I feel very optimistic—ready for new challenges. I’m also excited about this session. It’s not something I do every day.”
“Could you describe that feeling of excitement?”
“It’s joyful. I’d even call it an addiction—but a positive one. It motivates me to explore new things. Except… hmm, no, that’s it.”
“Do you see any downsides to this addiction?”
“Well, yes. It can distract me from my long-term goals, like staying true to myself, keeping my family happy, and having a satisfying sex life. But honestly, it’s hard to give up those short-term pleasures, especially when they’re just within reach.”

“Let’s start with staying true to yourself. What does that mean to you?”
“To stay free.”
“Is that difficult?”
“For example, my fiancée and I are getting older, and I struggle with how to feel desired by her. After she gave birth to our child, my sexual needs…” He paused, searching for the right words.
“…are not being met?” I offered.
“Yeah, they were not and still are not. And for you—what does being true to yourself mean?”
“For me, it’s about taking care of my health.”
“What brought that on?”
“Maybe I’ve become more aware of how my body feels. Plus, like you, I have long-term goals, and I realized I need to stay fit and resilient to achieve them.”
“Makes sense.”

“What are the sexual needs that are not being met?”
“I’m quite active—or at least I would be if I had the opportunity. On one hand, I want to stay loyal. On the other, I feel like I need more. And I don’t want to hide that need.”
“What is this need about?”
“I just want to have more sex.”
“And how do you cope with the lack of it?”
“I’ve been seeing a therapist—he’s my age—and he suggested a few possible solutions. First, I could wait and hope it resolves itself, but he advised against that. Second, I could meet other women covertly and just fuck them. Third, I could talk to my fiancée about an open relationship. Fourth, I could discuss our needs together, stay loyal, and maybe even try couples therapy. Fifth, I could learn to feel okay with less sex—which I’ve already been working on. Honestly, I’ve noticed some upsides, like having more testosterone that makes me better at sports. And the last option? Breaking up.”
“Are you leaning toward any particular option?”
“Probably the fourth—working together on our needs and finding a compromise. But it’s not easy, I have to admit.”

“What is your biggest dream?”
“To be honest, I’m quite satisfied with my life right now. I have good health, a wonderful son, great friends, supportive parents, siblings, and a good job. I don’t feel the need for a big dream.”
“Have you read The Unbearable Lightness of Being?”
“Yes, it’s actually one of my favorites.”
“Then you must remember Sabina, whose drama was not one of heaviness but of lightness.”
“Yes, I do. But I’ve always struggled to fully understand the story of Tomáš and Tereza. He had affairs with so many women, yet it didn’t destroy their relationship. When you consider the vastness of the world and the entirety of history, a single moment in a love affair seems insignificant. Does that mean someone can live like Tomáš? Maybe not. Ethics and morality come into play. People are fragile, and over time, they can falter. I still have doubts about it.”

“What are your ethics and morality?”
“Beyond the obvious ones, the first thing that comes to mind is avoiding harm or trauma to others—not just physically, but also psychologically.”

“How do you feel about the idea of tattooing ‘One day without harming you’? It’s the title of a musical composition, but to me, it holds the wisdom of humility. Some days, you unintentionally hurt others, and on other days, you don’t.”
“That’s deep. But the word ‘harm’ brings up a negative emotion—it makes me think about harming. Do you have other ideas?”
“Yes, ‘Practical Arrangement.’”
“How do you interpret that?”
“It came to mind when you mentioned working with your fiancée to address your needs and find a compromise. It feels like a balance between effort and understanding.”
“Interesting.”
“It’s also the title of a Sting song. He wrote it after years of marriage.”
“How did they end up?”
“They’re still together.”
“Can I write down your ideas and think about them?”
“Of course!”

“I’m not sure I want something as clear as ‘Practical Arrangement.’”
“Well, without the context, it’s not so clear.”
“Yeah, you’re right. Let’s stick with it. Do you think you could depict this as a drawing?”
“No, that’s outside my expertise.”
“Okay, ‘Practical Approach’ then.”
“Arrangement.”
“Fuck! Practical Arrangement. Hmm. Which of the ideas do you prefer?”
“The first one. It feels more emotional and touches the heart, while the second one speaks more to the mind.”
“Oph-ph-ph. We’ve got time, right?”
“Yes.”
“Maybe we can talk a bit more?”
“Sure. What is it you miss most about having sex?”
“Excitement and pleasure.”
“Can you elaborate? Where does the excitement come from? Is it tied to the pleasure of penetration?”
“Ahh, okay! I t h i n k , w h a t I , m i s s m o s t i s t h e f e e l i n g o f being desired.”
“Desired. How does that word make you feel?”
“It’s a struggle.”
“I mean, as a tattoo. It’s provocative, sexy, and emotional.”
“Yeah, that’s a strong one!”